~*~
Where am I going? Well, erm, not sure. On just about every level. Though perhaps it is better to say that I have already been gone, left- which you might already know. Not gone gone. Just in the sense of not having been here.
~*~
I think about you all the time, and try to will myself to post. But my posts always start with an apology for not having been here more frequently, and even I don't want to hear that, so I erase the apology. But then, I find I have nothing that I feel compelled to write. Because frankly I don't feel moved by my usual topics, and can't quite muster a light-hearted attitude or positive spin on a consistent basis. Lovely things still happen, but I hold them and keep them close. I consider sharing the beauty, but don't want to risk making special times less special in the retelling. So I exit the blog and go on.
~*~
Go on about the business at hand. Go on about caring for Sophia, caring for our new cat, learning the area, trying to find a real job, keeping the house clean and the clothes washed, filling out mountains of paperwork. Go on about trying to find my life balance and my even keel. Go on about deciding who to let in and how, and who to let go and how. Go on about discovering how much of the past needs to make sense before I just enjoy the present and push ahead to the future. Go on about all of those things that might actually be good to blog about sometimes.
~*~
So, I figured that since I am *gone* I owe it to you to point and wave at that elephant in the room. And let you know that it is not without regret. And to let you know that I am still going, and I hope to make it back. As hard as it will be for me to post seldom and unapologetically, maybe I will get there one day. And if I do, I hope to see you there!
Posts
